When I’ve had too much milk and cookies

When a kid asks me what mall I work at

When people confuse me for Betty White

When I receive a letter addressed to “Satan Claus”

When there’s a new elfette in town

I’m all like:

While Mrs. Claus is like:

When my doctor tells me to go on a diet

When I forget your name

On Christmas Eve

On Christmas Day

The kids are like:

And more kids are like:

While I’m like:

When I get caught under the mistletoe with someone I don’t like